Finals week was the usual hurricane once again. Miserable. Like I said a while back, it may be personality incompatibility but studying engineering really takes its toll on a person's mind, body and soul. Studies make me forget about other, normally very important things. I've forgot special birthdays, had friendships fall on the wayside, lost communication with family at points, and got extremely out of shape. When I do something, I like to do it right. To do and succeed in some of this school stuff, I need to let it completely consume me. Naturally, this brings me to ask myself "why do I do this? why do I keep coming back?" I was thinking about it today and I think it boils down to long term satisfaction. In theory, I think/hope I may be happier in the future. I truly enjoy many things about what I'm learning and I think there are a handful possible opportunities relating to this field that may be just as enjoyable.
The fingers are always crossed.
I believe that there is one thing that is very important to remember: the super fun things. Remember the fun times, the fun places, and most importantly, the fun people. You can look back on these things when things are shitty. Taking pictures helps me do this.
On a different subject, I've always had this strange personal dislike of taking pictures of other people's artwork. It is their work, and I refuse to take any credit for it. Not even for any personal satisfaction. BUT, there is one thing that IS ok with me. Taking pictures of other peoples artwork that represents a similar belief of your own. Not to take credit for it, but to simply spread the word. No, trout flying out of a computer screen are not a specific belief of mine but every once in a while you've got to think out of the box and be creative. Keep things interesting.
On yet another subject, I've really been enjoying these little fake polaroids. Faking the funk is something that goes against my beliefs but I suppose I'm not trying to fake the funk with these. I'm accepting the funk and creating new funk. These little photos are easy to process and require a small terrible camera. This is easy for me and is convenient when I don't have a lot of time. I may use the big DSLR to make what some people might call 'beautiful' pictures in terms of detail and craftsmanship but the small square format allows me to dial in on other things. Things like ideas, feelings, and special moments. The fact that every one is a little different is cool too.
